Understanding Validation: Insourcing vs Outsourcing
Validation is a crucial aspect that shapes our self-worth, decision-making process, and even our identity. But the source of this validation can either empower or destabilize us. Insourcing validation means looking inward for approval—trusting our inner guidance, self-wisdom, and judgment. It's the practice of affirming our own decisions and actions without relying on external validation.
On the flip side, outsourcing validation involves seeking external approval to gauge our worth. This means our self-esteem and confidence are heavily influenced by others' opinions, which often leads to anxiety and instability.
Why Insourcing Validation Matters
Insourcing validation fosters a more robust and stable sense of self. When we validate ourselves, we trust our intuition, honor our feelings, and recognize our inherent worth. This intrinsic alignment leads to improved emotional resilience, authenticity, and self-awareness.
Tips to Insourcing Validation
Bring Awareness to Outsourcing MomentsStart by identifying instances when you seek external approval. Is it your appearance, work performance, or everyday decisions? Understanding these patterns is the first step toward change.
Cultivate Self-AcceptanceEmbrace your strengths, imperfections, and everything in between. Reflect on what you love about yourself and celebrate those qualities.
Set Personal Standards and Reflect on Your ValuesEstablish personal standards for how you want to show up in different areas of your life. Align your decisions with your core values such as honesty, growth, or connection.
Seek Internal Feedback FirstBefore turning to others for feedback, ask yourself what you think about your idea or decision. Trust your inner judgment before considering external opinions.
Cultivate MindfulnessCreate space for your inner wisdom to emerge. Whether through meditation, journaling, or simply taking a few quiet moments each day, allow your intuition to guide you.
Real-Life Examples and Practical Applications
Think about a common scenario like choosing a dinner place. Do you often defer to others and then regret it? This simple act reflects a deeper pattern of not trusting your preferences and intuition, or potentially leaning towards people pleasing without recognizing what your desires even are.
In your professional life, if you don't share an idea because you fear it might be wrong, and someone else ends up voicing it, this again points to a lack of self-trust. Own your ideas and express them confidently.
When receiving feedback, if you are insourcing validation, feedback serves as a tool for growth—not as a measure of your worth. Whether the feedback is positive or constructive, your self-esteem remains unaffected. If outsourcing validation, feedback feels more personal.Â
The Transformative Power of Insourcing Validation
By insourcing our validation, we are no longer performers seeking approval to feel good about ourselves. We become authentic, grounded individuals leading lives true to our inner selves and values.
So next time you find yourself seeking external validation, pause and ask: What would my inner wisdom say? Trust that answer, let it guide your actions, and see how your confidence and authenticity flourish.
In conclusion, breaking free from the unconscious loop of outsourcing validation and embracing insourced validation will help you live the most authentic, expressive, and confident version of yourself.
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